there's no reason to diet
there's no reason at all
there's no reason to exercise
just give Jenny Crank a call
she'll save you moeny on your groceries

you can feel good and shed some pounds
you can be a horse in a one whore town
and after beating them off,
search their carpet for the little white fluffs
of speed starring you, not Sandra Buttock
heart is like an uzi pumping blood instead of bullets
you benn staying up late with Jenny!

there's no reason to diet
look so good at your funeral,
some one should give Mister Yuck a call

Jenny Crank
she's the rash that stings like a bee
dependent on the dust moreso than my teeth

smoke alarm bleeping, the TV blairs
closed caption killings for the hearing impared
and when the power's shut off,
run extension cords to the neighbors above
13 people in one apartment
all hiding from the health department
this social disease might explain the scores of hyperactive fleas
when darkness falls, and day becomes night
we'll go outside and cut the grass with a steak knife
when Jenny calls, we'll rip the copper wire right out of the walls!
Imaginary people. Dillusions of celeberaties who are forming a plot to photograph our faces with their camera cars!
Just call Jenny Crank, the last one you'll ever thank.
Hlalf the weight you've lost is from within your brain